Why adults have affairs?
Speak about a loaded topic that no one wants to chat about, that’s it. Amusing thing, married dating have been going on since ancient times. Extramarital relationships can be burdened with problems, cause sadness, and other troubles. Plus you must wrap your brain around all the other issues, there’s that truth and frankness issue, money, age dissimilarity, spiritual upbringing, shame, and on and on. I expect there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the purpose of this article I should identify an affair as a long term, maybe months long relationship of a sexual nature between two people of whom one or both are married to other persons, dating married woman.
Why do men have extramarital affairs? There are as many reasons as there are seeking affairs. I am conserned mostly though it is only the human nature, the need for love, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and appreciated. Here are a several reasons I have run across.
In nature we as humans are all sexual beings. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasurable and fun, and sex makes us escape the world for a brief period of time. This euphoria exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels high enough. Some people can turn the longing on and off, some are excellent at controlling it and others are so-so at best. Though we all have it, young and mature, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the excitement of the chase. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the caring for another individual, for some it is the longing to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the whole romance thing. These desires and yearnings can be so strong they prevail over the taboos culture has erected against married dating. For lots of people the yearnings will overcome their fears and make them risk the anger of not only their family, but the public as well. So why, what is the means?
Sex Addicts, maybe some of us are. Sex is terribly pleasant, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of physically driven sex addicts and can find away to have sex and not hurt your family or anybody else? You will need to minimize the risk you are taking. If you have the approach that a good affair is one that is beneficial to everyone, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I suppose this is the largest grouping, very big in fact. There are many couples whose marital relationships is over, except they are comfortable in the manner they exist, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your spouse but there is no romance. Also there are the children to look after. Your savings are so entwined. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to be together besides love and sex.
Physical reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical reasons that prevent them completing the sex performance, at least not with their othere half. An affair from time to time solves the trouble while keeping the marriage whole.
Neglect, sadly this is a frequent groung I fear. One or the other, frequently the husband is sexually neglecting his woman for a large humber of reasons. As a man I truly am grateful to you guys neglecting your girls and making them obtainable to us males of romance, making them “hot milfs” Though I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Also there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not only neglectful, but malevolent.
Something is just misplaced in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Probably its romance that is missing, maybe it is a shortage of love, could be caring is disappeared, could be it is the closeness, maybe neglect. Maybe we have just grown separately, our common interests diverged. Could be it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my ages, is diverce of what you want. Could be I just don’t know what I want from the marriage anymore. Could be, just maybe I miss that sensation that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The major reason people give is, they search for the passion that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to get away, for economic gain, for vengeance and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.
Tags: affairs, Dating, dating married people, extramarital affairs, Marriage, married dating, seeking an affair